The world about us is crazy; it goes on and on. It never stops for anything. No matter what, people continue to work, do daily tasks, jog, shop, and move about the earth. People move on with their lives even when we feel like everything in our own seems to stay still. Life doesn’t discontinue just because we feel like it should. When we are feeling down and our minds are plagued with darkness, we often feel like our universe is standing still.
I remember lying in my bed when I was very sick, covering my head with a pillow and wishing the morning would go away; Not another day. I can’t face a day of work, of sadness, and overwhelming emotions. My existence is an endless road of misery and I want it to come to a halt. I want everything to stop. Can’t I just stay in bed and pretend the world doesn’t exist?
No matter how much I wanted everything around me to halt, it wouldn’t. I felt stuck in this dark hole while people walked around with smiles and souls full of joy. It was like they were looking down at me laughing, “Ha, ha, you’re down there and I’m up here.”
I dragged my somber body out of bed while others rushed off to start their days. I forced a smile on my face while the light within me refused to shine. My customers talked about their lives, bought their groceries, and raced off to continue with their lives. I felt like I was stuck in this one spot, and no matter how hard I tried to move, I couldn’t. Life continued and I was stuck, incapable of climbing out of my hole, unable to reach the light, and barely able to make it through another day.
Life didn’t stay still, even when I felt as if mine had. It kept going on around me like an endless song stuck in my head. The trees continued to dance in the wind, the sun continued to glow, the plants continued to grow, and people kept going on and on. I wanted to stay in my bed, I wanted to quit living, and I wanted to hide, but people, work, and daily chores wouldn’t let me.
One day I decided I wanted to move forward. I had to dig deep within me to find the determination to pick myself up and force myself to just live. I knew I couldn’t stay deep within my hole. If the earth wouldn’t stay still, then why should I? I had to claw my way out of the hole. I had to fight to reach the light. I wanted to stand above my hole just like everyone else. I needed to look down into the hole and laugh, “Ha, ha, you don’t have me anymore. I am moving on.”
To do this, I had to look at everything around me with a different point of view. I needed to change my thought process, find medication that worked for me, and go to therapy. It’s not just therapy and medication that helps you breathe in the fresh air; it’s also you. I had to want it, I needed to fight for it, and I had to be willing to do whatever it took to find the light.
Life doesn’t stop and yours will also go on, whether you like it or not. You can choose to lie in bed all day, you can quit your job, sleep for endless hours, and quit eating and drinking, or you can stand up and face another day. You can find yourself help and push yourself to get up and go on. Fight for yourself.
Why? Because your worth fighting for. Stand up to your illness, do what it takes to reach the light, and go on with your existence.
I fought with all my strength to get better. I knew I would never be cured, but I wanted a normal existence. So I got medication, I went to therapy, and I did what I needed to do to get better. Because I found the willpower within me to continue on and to get better, I now stand bravely within the light.