OVERFLOWING WITH EMOTIONS

 

   Many people cry during a dramatic movie. Who didn’t cry when Bambi’s mother or Lassie died? For some, all they have to do is see a person in tears on a T.V. show or movie and they are crying, too.

   But What happens when you’re not watching a movie and the tears come? Like when you’re just talking about something important in your life, or just having a simple conversation with a friend. When you have depression, Borderline Personality Disorder, anxiety or other mental illnesses, the tears come on suddenly. You’re not necessarily crying because you’re sad, but just because of overflowing emotions.

   I probably cry more than most people and most of the time it’s not because I’m sad, but because emotions flood my body. While at work I was telling a customer about my writing and suddenly the tears started falling. I fought to hold them back, but I couldn’t.

   My customer looked at me. “Why are you crying?”

   I wiped my tears. “It’s just allergies.” I couldn’t explain to my customer how powerful my emotions are and how simple things stir them up.

   It’s embarrassing being overwhelmed so much that I cry and it is very difficult to explain. How do I explain I just feel things more strongly than others to the point my eyes water? How do I explain crying when I’m not sad? How do I explain that I’m suddenly hit by powerful emotions and I have no control or that I feel things more intensely than others?

   I went to my doctor’s office one day and I told her about my future appointment with an allergist. My eyes started flooding with tears. My doctor looked at me, “You poor thing. Your eyes are watering badly. I hope they find out what allergies you are suffering with.” I just agreed with her. I couldn’t tell her the truth. It was just easier to let her believe it was allergies. I couldn’t tell her suddenly a waterfall of feelings filled me and I wasn’t sure why.

   Many people become overwhelmed when something really good happens to them. Like when a long lost son returns home, when a new baby is born or when a friend throws you a surprise party, but what about out of the blue when you’re having a simple conversation. The simplest thing can bring tears for me. Why? Because I feel things more deeply and much stronger than others.

   There is no cure to the sudden tears and emotions that overwhelm you. It’s a part of your life and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Feeling things deeply can make you more sensitive to others’ needs and help you to be more compassionate. It doesn’t make you weak; it only strengthens you. Use the tears to reach out to others and show them the true you.

   I’m still learning to stop hiding why I suddenly cry. I’m finding that admitting the truth is helping me reach even further into the light.

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