What is the meaning of your life? This is a very difficult question for people suffering with depression. They see their life as an endless dark pit they can’t climb out of. They often think they are on earth to be tortured by darkness and emotional anguish. It’s hard to look beyond that. It’s difficult to think of anything but the overwhelming sadness within, but life has a much brighter meaning and outlook. It’s up to you to find the meaning to your life.


   When I was suffering from depression I often wondered why God put me on earth. Was I on earth to be tormented by my sickness? Was I a mistake? Did my existence even matter? What was the meaning to my life? My life didn’t seem to have any meaning or purpose. I thought I was a mistake. It seemed like I was stuck in an endless hole of despair and sadness.

   It took time for me to look at my life differently. I had to dig deep down into my soul to find the true meaning of my life. I was determined it had to be more than the emotional pain, darkness, and sadness that engulfed me. I had to have a purpose for my existence. What could it be? What was my life all about? Was there more to my life then my illness?


   To answer these questions I had to look at the people around me, the good things in my life and at myself as an individual, not a person with a sickness. I might have had an illness, but there was much more to me than that. I had loving parents, nieces and nephews, a job and much more. I loved, I gave, I cherished, and I listened. I realized God put me on earth to give, to listen, and inspire others. I suddenly saw there was more to me than darkness. A lot more.

   The meaning to my life is being around to watch my nieces and nephews grow up, to find true love, to make friends, to create memories, and so much more. I’m meant to give with all my heart, to inspire others with my writing, to live life to the fullest, to love like I have never loved before, to learn from my mistakes, and create memories. My life is not a mistake; it’s a blessing from God, and even suffering with mental illness has a purpose. I use what I went through and what I have learned to reach, inspire and help others. God can use everything.


   It took me time to learn that God was never punishing me. He was standing beside me through my struggles and he opened doors for me to find recovery and rise above it. When I was willing he also showed me life has meaning and my life is meaningful. He kept me alive for a reason, to find the meaning of my life and to live my life to the fullest.


   Look into your soul. Look beyond your sadness, your emotional anguish, and your dark hole. Look past your negativity and your illness. Look at the true person you are within. List the qualities that make you who you are; list what is important and positive in your life. Within these lists you’ll find who you are. You’ll be able to find that there is meaning to your life. Once you find what the meaning to your life is, don’t take it for grant. Live it to the fullest. Grab onto its wings and fly with it. In the search of finding meaning in your life you’ll find yourself.

   Maybe in your discovery of your purpose, you’ll find God and you will grow closer to him. You’ll see he’s not punishing you and you’re not a mistake. You might even find a reason for your suffering. So take this time and search hard and deep for your meaning to life.


   Now that I know God’s reason for my life and the meaning he gave my life, I bask in the light of recovery.

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