Some of us celebrate Easter and some don’t. A customer told me she celebrates the Last Supper because it’s more important than the Resurrection. I celebrate both when I celebrate Easter. I believe it’s a celebration of the sacrifice Jesus made so our sins will be forgiven and His Resurrection. However you celebrate is not important. What is important is that we are given the ultimate forgiveness. Whatever we do, if we ask God and Jesus for forgiveness, we are forgiven. This is hard to wrap your mind around. We ask, “How can there not be any exceptions?” Some sins are worse than others and yet we get the same forgiveness. Does everyone deserve forgiveness? How can we all receive the same forgiveness?
When I was ill, I did some awful things to my family. I called my parents bad names, I fought with my siblings, and I swore a lot. I threw fits, I broke things, and I punched my siblings. I was an angry person when I had my Borderline Personality Disorder. When I had my episodes, I was out of control. I often wondered how God could forgive me for my actions. I couldn’t even forgive myself. I punished myself over and over, yet God forgave me over and over again. Why? I didn’t deserve it.
My little sister and I shared a room when we were kids. Many nights I struggled to sleep. A noise my sister made while sleeping angered me. I’d throw things at her; I’d yell at her and stick things in her mouth. I was upset she could sleep and I couldn’t. I made her life miserable. She didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t her fault I couldn’t sleep, but I took my frustration out on her. How could I be forgiven for this? Years later after she learned of my illness my sister forgave me, but for years I drowned in my own guilt.
My brother was a typical brother. He had a nick-name for me and liked to tease me like brothers do. I saw his teasing as another form of bullying. I thought my brother was treating me just like the kids in school. I hated him for it. He’d say something and I’d go off into a fit. I’d start punching him and he’d punch back. I’d scream at him and call him names. One time we wrestled until we ended up putting a hole in the wall. I called him awful things. How could God forgive me for that? I acted like a jerk, I said things I didn’t mean, and did some awful stuff to my brother, and yet I am forgiven.
All I had to do to be forgiven for my sins was pray to God and ask for forgiveness, but did I deserve it? I was awful when I was sick. I even got mad at my parents and argued with them and called them names. How can the Heavenly Father just let all I did go? Even into my adult years I had a hard time letting myself off the hook for what I did.
Mom sat me down. “God, understands you were sick and all you need to do is ask him to forgive you. That’s why Jesus died on the cross so you don’t have to live and die with your sins. Forgive yourself; let it go because God has already forgiven you.”
If you did stuff you’re not proud of and you can’t forgive yourself, remember why Jesus died. Turn to God and Jesus and ask for forgiveness. Don’t live in anguish punishing yourself for your wrong doings. Let it go. If God forgives you, then you, too, can forgive yourself. Get on your knees and turn to Him. Speak to Him and let your sins go.
Jesus’ gift to us was his death on a cross so we can give our sins to God and be forgiven so we one day can go to heaven. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice by dying and God made the ultimate sacrifice by allowing His son to die for people born into sin. In the end we are given the ultimate forgiveness. All you have to do is ask for it and it shall be granted. However you celebrate Easter, be grateful for the sacrifices made for you so your sins can be wiped free. If God can forgive you, then you can forgive yourself.
I have placed my sins in God’s hands and I have also learned to forgive myself. I no longer feel bad for the things I did while I was ill. I know I will always be a sinner, and I also know God will forgive me if I ask for it. This Easter I celebrate Jesus’s and God’s sacrifices and the ultimate forgiveness given to us. I celebrate Jesus rising from the dead and ascending into heaven. I stand in the light of the Father, the Holy Ghost, and Jesus. Happy Easter!