I’m on vacation. so please enjoy a older but very important blog post.
I was told when I was hospitalized years ago that I have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I had no idea what BPD was, so I did some research. I found that many who suffer with this illness were abused. I was never abused by my parents, but I was abused emotionally by teachers and classmates at school. I also learned that people with BPD have a hard time with self-image, relationships and behaviors..
I found these symptoms on the National Education Alliance website (The website can be found under resources on my blog menu.):
- Fear Of abandonment (I blogged about my struggles with this in the past.)
- Unstable or changing relationships (I had many unstable relationships with friends and boyfriends.)
- Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self (I had problems with my self-image.)
- Impulsive or self-damaging behavior (e.g. excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
- Suicidal Behavior or self-injuring (At one time I was suicidal and I have now gone thirteen years without injuring)
- Varied or random mood swings (I would be in a good mood one minute and in an angry fit the next.)
- Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness (Throughout a big part of my life I felt worthlessness and I struggled with sadness)
- Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights (I often lost my temper at home and got into physical fights with my brother. I got angry and would throw and break things.)
- Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality
To be diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, you must have five or more of these symptoms. If you have several of these symptoms, find a therapist who deals with BPD. In time you can take control of your illness and find a happier life. Your symptoms can be reduced and you can bathe in the light as I am. I still have some of the symptoms of Borderline, but they no longer rule my life. I live my life in the light.