UPDATE ON MY BOOK

A customer at the grocery store where I work, said, “You have a book published; you shouldn’t have to work.”

I wish that were true. I wish it were like in the TV shows where you write a book and make a fortune. If that were true, my husband and I wouldn’t be struggling right now with finances and I wouldn’t care that my job has cut my hours. I’m making a small profit on my books. I get a percentage from Amazon for each book I sell, and for each book I sell in a bookstore I get a percentage. For books I sell myself, I must take money out for the cost of each book and I have to take taxes out. I am making money, but not enough to live on. The extra money has helped us, though.

My main reason to write my book was not to get rich, but to bring awareness of bullying and to speak out against it. I’m doing that by doing speaking and book signing events. My most recent speaking event was at McCord Library in NorthEast, PA. Twenty-four people came and I sold seven books and a few “Stop Bullying” bracelets.

A lady brought her son who is being bullied at school. I had met her online, and she happens to be taking care of my grandma’s best friend. She messaged me before the talk that her son had to meet me. I met her son and gave him a hug. She was so inspired by my speech she told her pastor who has ties with Westfield School. The pastor called me and asked me several questions about talking to schools. He said he will get back to me. My fingers are crossed.

My next speaking event is May 17 at Patterson Library in Westfield, NY at 4 P.M. I’ll be speaking to children and their parents. I’m also working on speaking to my church’s youth group. I’m researching other places I can speak at where I can reach parents and their children. Selling and signing my book is very rewarding and a dream come true, but bringing awareness to bullying and the effects it has on people is even more rewarding. God wanted me to write my story to help others, not to get rich.

I would love to get a movie deal and for my book to become a bestseller so I can stay home and write for a living, but I’m proud of having published a book and being able to speak out against something I am passionate about. When people ask me if I’m making a fortune on my book I say, “I’m not the next J.K. Rowling, but what I’m making is helpful.” Times are rough for my husband and me right now. It would be wonderful to make a living off my book, but that is a dream. Who knows it may happen? Dreams do come true.

How can you help me with my book? The best gift you can give an author is to write a review. You don’t have to be good at writing to do a review. Just put down what you like about my book. You can go on Amazon or Goodreads and post a review. Reviews help sell a book. Good reviews tell readers “This is a book you want to buy.” If you have bought my book, please consider writing a review.

Last week I did a promotion on the Kindle version of my book. It was on sale for ninety-nine cents for a week. I sold eighteen books. I consider that a success. I got an excellent review from someone who bought a Kindle copy. I hope more will write some reviews.

Many are asking me if I am going to write another book. Right now, I have not started on any books. My friend Roberta is organizing some of my blog posts for a book. I have plans to write about the years after the garage and I am writing down memories on index cards. I have written an article about adding emotions to memoir which I hope to submit to Pennwriters’ newsletter. Otherwise, I have not done a lot of writing. I put a lot into Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying and I just need time to sort out my emotions to write another book that deals with powerful and painful memories.

Speaking out against bullying and bringing awareness to the damages it causes help me stand proudly in the light of recovery.

ONLY 99p/99c!!!!!

Aimee Eddy’s memoir Kindle is just 99p/99c at the moment. The sale goes on until March 17. Get your Kindle book Now before it’s too late!!! You have two days left!!!!

Here are the links:

AMAZON UNIVERSAL LINK: mybook.to/EscapetotheGarage

AMAZON UK LINK: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B7FNK8WW

AMAZON  .COM LINK: www.amazon.com/dp/B0B7FNK8WW

Description

“Honest, determined and deeply emotional, Author Aimee Eddy provides an in-depth look into her life growing up and being bullied. Her imagination sustains and ultimately fuels her courage to move forward. A powerful read.” -Amy Bovaird, Author, Seeking Solace: Finding Joy After Loss

“Aimee shows a strong viewpoint of her childhood through her own personal lens. Escape to the Garage is very personal, educational, heart wrenching, and emotional.” -Alexander J. Kovarovic Executive Director and Founder / One Life Project & Our Colors United

“Aimee Eddy gives a highly emotional, target’s eye account of the bullying she suffered as a child during school. This book is an emotional roller-coaster and one you won’t be able to put down!” -Cherie White, former target of bullying, anti-bullying advocate, blogger, and author of From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experience with School Bullying)

Unable to do classwork in first grade, Aimee Eddy is called a retard by her teacher.

This label follows her throughout elementary school and forces her to endure daily bullying from classmates and teachers. Low self-esteem and hopelessness threaten to swallow her.

Despite the hardships at school, she finds love and acceptance in one place—the family garage. There, Aimee, her siblings, and cousins disappear into their imaginations as they build forts in the junkyard and roll down hills in inner tubes. The support she receives from her family at the garage gives her the courage to withstand the deep depression school produces.

Then tragedy strikes, and the family loses the garage. Without this place of refuge, how will she find the strength to stand up to bullies?

DEPRESSION WITH GRIEF

When a person loses someone close to him or faces any kind of loss, he goes through five stages of grief. One of the stages of grief is depression. No matter what kind of depression you have, whether it be because of mental illness or grief, it is something that should be taken seriously. If you already have depression due to mental illness grief can intensify it. When it is depression from grief, it can be handled differently than that caused by mental illness.

I have gone through a lot of grief in my life. I went through the five stages of grief, but when it came to depression, it was intensified for me. When I lost my uncle in an accident, I was already suffering with depression. The loss intensified my depression and sent me into a very dark place. I fell to pieces and was on the edge of my breaking point. My thinking was illogical and internally I blamed myself for his death because of a wish I made. I didn’t know the difference between depression because of grief and the depression I already was feeling. I didn’t even know what depression was at that time.

Each time I have lost people in my life, it intensified my mental illness. In therapy I learned different ways to cope with depression as a mental illness. Recently I learned that dealing with a person who is suffering with depression just caused by grief is different than handling a mental illness.

A dear friend of mine lost a very close family member. Her family member had been ill, and as she took care of him, she started dealing with stages of grief. When he passed, she sunk into a depression. I wanted to be supportive, and I thought I could help her by sharing some of my coping techniques I learned for depression. She didn’t respond to my suggestions. I decided to do some research.

Here is a list of things you can do to help your friend or family member suffering from depression due to grief:

• Don’t tell them about your grief or depression experiences. When a person is grieving, he can only focus on what he or she has lost. Grieving people don’t want to hear your experiences.
• Don’t give advice. Don’t tell people what they should do with their grief or what worked for you. Don’t tell them how you think they should deal with their depression. You could do more harm to them. Everyone grieves differently. Allow your friend or family member grieve in his or her own way.
• Be willing to listen and be supportive. This is when your friend or family member needs you the most. Be available to listen, to comfort, and to give support when they need it.
• Don’t get pushy. If your friend or family member pulls away and insists he needs time alone, let him have that time. Don’t insist on visiting, on getting him out of the house, or talking when he is not ready to. If your friend or family member is sleeping a lot and doesn’t have interest in everyday activities, don’t push him. Let the person come to you when he or she is ready.
• Do little things to remind the friend or family you are there for him or her. Offer to get the person’s mail, send a thinking of you card, or bring the person a meal.
• Check in on your friend or family member. If your friend is spending a lot of time isolated from everyone, check in with him. Give him a phone call or drop in just to make sure he is well. You don’t have to stay to visit or have a long conversation. Just make sure the person is okay and then let him or her be.
• Give your friend or family member plenty of time to grieve. Some get over grief in a short time and others may take longer. Never tell him or her to get over it. Let him take as long as he needs to grieve. Just support the person, no matter how long it takes.
• Don’t avoid talking about the loved one your friend or family member lost. He needs to be reminded of the good memories and to share his own memories. Talking about the person he lost helps him come to terms with his loss.
• Beware of signs your family member or friend needs extra help. If your family member or friend stops functioning, talks about suicide, gives up on taking care of himself, and the depression worsens, suggest grief counseling or therapy.

Grief is a hard thing to go though and sometimes we fear we’ll say or do the wrong thing when trying our best to help a loved one who is grieving. The best thing we can do for a person grieving is to be supportive and patient.

Because I researched grief I am working to be as supportive as I can be for my friend. Being there for others in their time of need and learning about depression from grief helps me stand in the light of recovery with a full heart and new knowledge.

SPEAKING EVENT

While I was writing my memoir, a fellow writer told me that I was going to become an advocate. She was right. Since my book came out, I have become very passionate about speaking out against bullying and sharing my experience with the world. My book is a testimony of the bad effects bullying has on a child, and the effects are the same for an adult. I am proof a person can rise from that bullying to help others. I believe God helped me write my book so I can help others.

Saturday, I gave a talk at McCord Memorial Library in North East, PA. Twenty-four people attended. So far that is the biggest audience I have had for my talks. Most of those who came were older people. One lady whom I had met through Facebook brought her teenage son who was facing bullying. I spoke from the heart and received a big applause at the end. Many told me how inspirational my talk was, some shared experiences with bullying, and many told me I am an excellent advocate for those who have been bullied. It was great, but I realized something. I need to find a way to speak to younger adults and children of all ages.

I’m working with a lady from my church speak to the youth group. I need to also find ways to speak at schools. I have a customer who works at a local school who hopes to have me speak there, but I haven’t heard anything from her yet. If you have suggestions on how I can bring my messages to schools and parents of children, please leave a comment.

A common question I have been getting from my readers is “How do you become an advocate?”

There are different kinds of advocates. My friend Alexander Kovarovic gave me some advice on this topic.  This is what he told me: Advocates are people who want to step up to make the world a better place for a certain reason like suicide prevention, bullying, domestic violence and more. This can be as simple as people sharing things on social media, going to events etc. Advocates are also people work on creating laws, people who run nonprofits and people who run charity events. To become an advocate, it’s good to start by volunteering for a nonprofit.

For me I became part of a nonprofit organization called National Internet Safety and Cyberbullying Taskforce (which is now called The One Life Project). First, I wrote blog posts for them and then I helped them set up events and interview volunteers. Then my book came out and I began to set up speaking and book signing events. Then being an advocate fell into place. I found myself able to stand up in front of people and speak from the heart without even planning my speech.

I think the biggest part of becoming an advocate is to find a topic you may have lived through and rise above or something you passionately want to change and speak out about it. Find a nonprofit that deals with your topic and volunteer. Learn as much as you can about your cause and how you can help others. Be willing to speak at events in front of crowds of people. If you have experience with your topic then share your story. Your story can help many.

I believe my talks and my book is helping many. I received a email from a reader who said by reading my book she learned more about bullying and the affects it has on people. I hope that many more are learning from my book too.

By speaking out against bullying I am growing stronger each day and I stand proudly in the light of recovery.

MISSED A POST

This week due to a lot of stuff going on I forgot to write a blog post. Things have been a little bit crazy. I will have a post for you next week. If you live in my area don’t forget I’m signing books and speaking at McCord Library Saturday in North East PA at 10 am.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Happy Valentine’s Day. Some say it’s a day created by sores and restaurants to sell products. Some see it as an ordinary day while others see it as a special day to celebrate love. Those who are lonely and don’t have a special someone may find Valentine’s Day depressing.

Before I met my husband, I used to get depressed on Valentine’s Day. I imagined the perfect man to sweep me off my feet and shower me with gifts and love. For the longest time I thought there was no special man for me. I hated watching others celebrate and talk about the special day they had. I felt alone and unwanted. My prince charming didn’t exit, so I thought.

In my school years boys picked on me and in my adult years I waded through bad relationships. After my one ex I swore off men and figured that no man could ever handle my mental illness. I made plans to live with my parents and after they were gone, I hoped to live with my younger sister. Love wasn’t meant for me. I would live my life single.

That all changed when I met my husband, Lou. My husband spoils me with love every day. None of my exs were as generous as Lou. One boyfriend bought me gifts, told me the prices, and told me to take good care of them. When we broke up, I destroyed the gifts. Lou bought me stuff without worrying about the cost. He gave from his heart. Plus, Lou gives the gifts that money can’t buy: kisses before he goes to work in the morning, cuddles at bed time, snuggles on the couch while watching TV, helping me down the stairs of our porch when it’s wet or icy, and much more.

Lou never forgets a holiday. He’s a romantic. He never ceases to surprise me. Even though he shows me his endless love continuously, he loves to make Valentine’s Day magical. The days of loneliness and depression on February 14 are gone. Now I feel loved, cherished, and special. I no longer hate Valentine’s Day. I can’t wait to find out what surprise he has in store for me.

When you love someone, you show them every day. You don’t need a holiday to do it, but still Valentine’s Day can be fun. Some married couples may need a day to remind each other of their loves. Married couples can get caught in ruts. They become so busy with their jobs and duties that they forget to stop and spend extra time together. Valentine’s Day can be the day to rekindle those flames.

You don’t have to have a significant other to celebrate Valentine’s Day. You can give flowers to the people in your life that you love and care about. Give a card or candy to a friend, buy flowers for your mother, spend the day hanging out with family, and so on. Don’t let today put you into sadness. Celebrate the special people in your life. It’s not just a day to celebrate romance, but a day to celebrate love. Love can be shared with anyone in your life that mean a lot to you. Celebrate loving yourself. Buy yourself flowers, go for a nice dinner, or take a day to sit in your PJs and watch movies.

Love is in the air. Let’s celebrate everyone we love. Celebrating the love of my friends, family and Lou on Valentine’s Day helps me dance in the light of recovery. Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

AN APOLOGY LETTER

Part of life is getting hurt by people. Sometimes they hurt us by accident, some don’t even realize they hurt us, and some hurt us because they are not nice. Getting an apology helps ease the pain, but not everyone apologizes. How do we mend our broken hearts if a person who hurt us never apologizes?

Since my book has been published, people have asked me, “Has any of your bullies read your book and apologized?”

Unfortunately, none of them has apologized and I don’t expect them to. I’m not even sure they would admit it was them in my book if they read it. My friend, Roberta, suggested I try writing an apology letter from one of my bullies to me. I thought about it and decided that would be a great idea. Below is an apology letter I have written from one of the bullies in my book, Donna. If you haven’t read my book, Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying, reading my book would give you a better idea about what Donna did to me.

Dear Aimee,

  I’m so sorry I called you a retard and other names in school. I didn’t understand what a learning disability was. I was a fool to think you were stupid. Look at you. You went to college. You wrote a book. You were never stupid or retarded. My words were cruel and wrong. I wish I could take them back. Now I’ve read your book and I can see how much they hurt you. I’m sorry I caused you so much pain.

  In school I thought you weren’t smart enough to ever work a job and I told you that you would be on welfare. Boy was I wrong. My life turned out to be a mess, but you went on to college, you got a degree, and you have worked the same job for twenty-seven years. I’m sorry I said that about you. I was so wrong. I’m the one who failed to succeed, but you are a success.

  I’m sorry I took your friends away and turned them against you. I’m sorry I stopped other kids from making a friendship with you. I didn’t feel good about myself and I turned that on you. I made your life miserable. It wasn’t nice of me to tell others lies about you so they wouldn’t be your friend. In a way I was jealous of you. My family and home life weren’t as good as yours, so in turn I made your school days miserable. I’m sorry for that.

  Maybe if I took the time to really get to know you, we could have been good friends. Maybe you could have been someone I could have confided in instead of someone I tore apart. I’m glad to see you were able to rise above the abuse I put you through and are now able to help others.

  You are a smart wonderful person and I’m sorry I never took the chance to get to know you for who you are. I can never take back all the pain I put you through or heal the wounds I caused, but at least I can do is tell you how wrong I was and how sorry I am.

   I am truly sorry for being so awful to you in school. I hope you will forgive me.

Sincerely,

Donna

I’d be surprised if I ever got an apology from Donna, but writing this letter helped ease the pain in my soul. It helped me see Donna as a person who acted out of ignorance and as an imperfect person instead of a monster. I’ll never be able to tell her I forgive her, but I forgive her for my own benefit. I don’t want to talk to her or have her in my life, but she is no longer that evil monster that tore me apart in school. Now I see her as a broken person who used her own insecurities to hurt me.

Try writing a letter of apology from the person who hurt you deeply. It will help you in the healing process and help you to forgive that person. It will also help you let go of the grip that person has on you. Once you have written the letter whisper or yell it out loud, “I forgive you.” Then let the wounds in your heart heal.

Writing the letter to Donna helped me heal. Because I wrote the letter I bathe in the light of recovery.

BULLYING AFFECTS MENTAL HEALTH

Bullying is aggressive behavior towards another person whether it be verbal or physical. It is a form of abuse. Many people can remember a time when they were bullied by another kid or an adult. When the bullying is a prolonged problem that expands over weeks, months, and years, it takes a toll on the person’s mental health, causing problems that may require medication and therapy to treat.

Bullying has effects on a person’s mental well-being that can last a long time or go away in a short time. It took therapy and medication to help me deal with the scars that bullying left on my soul. People can already be predisposed to mental illness through genetics and chemical imbalance, and the bullying brings it out.

I found lists of short-term and long-term effects of bullying on WebMD The Effects of Bullying on Mental Health: Impact and What To Do (webmd.com).

Here is a list of short-term effects of bullying:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Low self-esteem
• Self-harm
• Suicidal thoughts
• Difficulty sleeping

The long-term effects are:

• Generalized anxiety
• Panic Disorder
• Agoraphobia
• Depression
• Loneliness

Many of the short-term effects can go away in time, but sometimes they follow you into adulthood. I struggled from childhood to now as an adult with depression and anxiety. As a child I started self-harming by pulling my hair, pinching myself, and hitting myself. In my young adult years, I started cutting and burning myself.

 During my school, I struggled to sleep. I had nightmares about my bullies, my thoughts raced, and I was afraid to go to school the next day. I tried sleeping on the couch, snuggling with stuffed animals and I tried to fight my racing thoughts, but nothing helped. My sleeping problems continued into my adult years. I am currently on sleeping medication. Sometimes the medicine doesn’t even work. Instead of nightmares I struggle with obsessive worrying and racing thought.

I was also predisposed to psychological problems. Mental illness runs in my family and I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. These factors also made me more vulnerable to mental illness. The bullying was another factor that helped me slip down that dark hole. 

If you’re a parent or family member of a child or even an adult who is being bullied, look for the short and long-term effects of bullying. When you start to notice the short-term effects you should get the victim help. Also investigate your family history for mental illness. Know if it runs in your family, there is a chance you or your child may be predisposed to it. Tell your psychiatrist and therapist about your family history.

Any type of abuse takes a toll on a child’s or an adult’s well-being. We can save the victims of bullying by standing up for them, standing up against bullying, and helping the victims get help.

Speaking out against bullying and writing about it helps me stand proudly in the light of recovery.

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LIVING MY DREAM

In high school I found out I had the talent to write. I daydreamed a lot in class as a way to escape the bullying I faced, and I started writing my daydreams in notebooks. The best part of writing was that I was in control of what happened to my characters and I could give them happy endings. It was in high school that I started dreaming of publishing my own book. I dreamed of doing book signings and giving speeches. I just never imagined that it would feel this good.

Since I started writing my book, I have been telling everyone about my memoir and my writing progress. Even my dentist. This past week my gums started hurting when I drank or ate cold beverages or food. I called my dentist’s office, and they had an appointment for me. I brought my book to show the dentist. She went around to the employees in the office and asked them if they would like a copy, and she was buying. Before I knew it, she wrote me a check and told me she needed seven books. On the way out the secretary told me she wanted a book too, but she was paying for her own. So, all together I sold eight books at the dentist’s office. Bad news: I have gum disease. Good news: I made money at my appointment.

I have learned to take a few books with me wherever I go. I sold a book to my doctor and several books at my breast cancer support group Christmas party. I never know who will want to buy a copy of my book. I keep a bag with four books in my SUV and when I go to parties, out with friends, or to appointments I bring a couple with me.

Saturday the fourteenth I did a book signing at a small bookstore called Werner Books. A reporter from a local news station came and interviewed me. The interview was aired Saturday at 6 P.M. and 11 P.M. I watched it at both times. I was so excited to be on TV. Then on Monday my customers told me the interview of me was aired again. Customers keep coming in my line, telling me they saw me on TV, congratulating me, and asking where they can buy my book. Some customers are waiting in my line to get their books signed. I feel like a celebrity. Thursday Werner books contacted me and said they sold out of my books, and they had a waiting list for more. I took ten books to them. click the link below to watch me on the news.

https://www.yourerie.com/news/local-news/local-author-teaches-children-about-overcoming-bullying-with-new-book/

I can’t explain how wonderful I feel. I feel like I am floating on a cloud. My dream came true, and it feels better than I could have ever imagined. One customer insists I should be on Good Morning America. That is a long shot, but who knows. God has plans for me and my book. I just know his plans are big. He gave me the talent to write and the ability to share my story with the world. I’m letting him guide me in my path to stand up against bullying with my book and speaking.

Monday the sixteenth I spoke to Lawrence Park (the area where I live) Historical Society. I only sold one book, but I sold several, “Stop Bullying” leather bracelets I had woodburned. It was a small group of around ten, but I just spoke from the heart. Many who were there already had my book and just wanted to hear me speak. The Historical Society paid me to speak for them. It was my first paying speaking engagement.

I believe I survived bullying and the damage it caused so that I could write my memoir and talk about bullying to help others. I want to make as many people as possible aware of the affects bullying has on a person. I urge people who come to my talks to buy my bracelets and to wear them to show the world we are standing up against bullying.

My next speaking and book signing event is February 25 at McCord Library, NorthEast, PA at 10:00 A.M. I have a customer who works at a local school looking into having me speak at the school.

We don’t struggle through hard times for nothing. Our struggles and what we learned from them can help others. I’ll never be able to stop all bullying, but if I can help a few people and bring more awareness to it, I have accomplished a lot.

These wonderful experiences of selling my book and speaking to groups of people have me dancing with joy in the light.

Take the pledge today to stand up with me against bullying by buying one of my leather bracelets for $5.00 and wearing it with pride. Leave a comment if you would like a bracelet or email me at aimeeeddy3@gmail.com.