When times get hard and I don’t think I can face another day, I say a silent prayer. Even in recovery I need some extra help from above. Sometimes my illness threatens to throw me down the hole, and when that happens, I close my eyes or go somewhere quiet and say a silent prayer. Support systems and coping techniques help, but prayer is the best therapy of all.
Lately things in my life have been hard, so along with my coping techniques and supporters, I have turned to prayer. Prayer to give me strength to deal with my grandma’s dementia getting worse, strength to deal with a tooth problem, strength to keep my illness under control and stay in recovery. Below is my prayer for strength.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Life is hard and my illness threatens to throw me back into my inner hell. I have fought with all my might to climb out of my hole of depression, anxiety, and Borderline Personality Disorder and I did it, but sometimes my illness threatens to take over. Life is difficult. It’s got many bumps, twists, and dips. Some days life’s bumps knock me down. I find it hard to fight to stay within the light. I feel like giving up the battle. When I think I have everything under control, life suddenly twists in another direction and I slip into sadness. When I think things can’t get any worse, life takes a dip into darkness and I wobble. Oh Lord, when these days come, give me the strength to continue on.
Lord, when I was at my worst, I turned my back on you, yet you stood at my side. I claimed you did not exist, but you never left me. I stopped going to church and blamed you for my illness, but you continued to give me strength to go on. Lord, sometimes I still ask, “Why me?” Why did you give me such an illness?” Oh, heavenly Father when I question you, give me strength to hold on tight, to be patient, and to allow you to show me the way.
Recovery is hard. I know I will not ever be cured of my illness, but I fight each day to stay in the light. Many things threaten to throw me backwards. Sometimes I get sad and I’m not sure why. My worries and thoughts run wild. I get anxious and I get sick. I try to calm myself, but some days I can’t. At times I over-react to things, I get emotional, and I get negative. When my illness threatens to send me backwards, give me strength to stay in recovery.
Stigma about mental illness is all around me. I lost friends because they feared my mental illness and didn’t understand. I listen to others make jokes about people with mental illness, I watch television shows paint the wrong images of mental illness, and I hear the news blaming horrific crimes on mental illness without stating the facts. I become angry at the prejudice, the stigma, and misinformed people. The only way I know how to reach out to others to teach, to inform and help is through my writing. Heavenly Father, give me the strength to keep using my writing to fight stigma.
Lord, there are many people in the world: some who are positive and some who are negative. Relationships are hard. Knowing whom to build a healthy friendship with and whom I should keep my distance from is difficult. I try hard to be kind to all, but I must protect my well being. Having healthy relationships is important to staying in recovery. People come into my life who are negative, untrustworthy, and who are unstable, wanting to be my friend. It’s hard to turn away from these people. I am willing to help those who help themselves, but must stay away from people who refuse help. Give me the strength to hold on to healthy relationships and turn away from bad ones.
Heavenly Father, I would not be where I am without your help. I now know I have struggled with my mental illnesses to help others with my writing. I know you have a purpose for me and I work hard to fulfill it. I know you never let us go through anything without a reason. My reason is to write about my illnesses to help others, to teach others, and to give others hope. Thank you, Lord, for everything. Thank you for this strength and determination you gave me to push through no matter what stood in my way. I am in the light because of you. Thank you for the strength to climb into the light. Please, continue to give me the strength to keep dancing in not only the light of recovery, but also within your light.
Try writing your own prayer or just taking a moment to say a prayer. If anyone can get you through, God can. Turn to him and be patient because God works in his own time and in his own way. If you look around, you may already see doors and paths he has provided for you. Lean on him for the strength, guidance, and determination you need to reach recovery.
I use prayer often to get me through rough times. Prayer is what keeps me in God’s light and helps me stand bravely in the light.