UPDATE ON MY BOOK

A customer at the grocery store where I work, said, “You have a book published; you shouldn’t have to work.”

I wish that were true. I wish it were like in the TV shows where you write a book and make a fortune. If that were true, my husband and I wouldn’t be struggling right now with finances and I wouldn’t care that my job has cut my hours. I’m making a small profit on my books. I get a percentage from Amazon for each book I sell, and for each book I sell in a bookstore I get a percentage. For books I sell myself, I must take money out for the cost of each book and I have to take taxes out. I am making money, but not enough to live on. The extra money has helped us, though.

My main reason to write my book was not to get rich, but to bring awareness of bullying and to speak out against it. I’m doing that by doing speaking and book signing events. My most recent speaking event was at McCord Library in NorthEast, PA. Twenty-four people came and I sold seven books and a few “Stop Bullying” bracelets.

A lady brought her son who is being bullied at school. I had met her online, and she happens to be taking care of my grandma’s best friend. She messaged me before the talk that her son had to meet me. I met her son and gave him a hug. She was so inspired by my speech she told her pastor who has ties with Westfield School. The pastor called me and asked me several questions about talking to schools. He said he will get back to me. My fingers are crossed.

My next speaking event is May 17 at Patterson Library in Westfield, NY at 4 P.M. I’ll be speaking to children and their parents. I’m also working on speaking to my church’s youth group. I’m researching other places I can speak at where I can reach parents and their children. Selling and signing my book is very rewarding and a dream come true, but bringing awareness to bullying and the effects it has on people is even more rewarding. God wanted me to write my story to help others, not to get rich.

I would love to get a movie deal and for my book to become a bestseller so I can stay home and write for a living, but I’m proud of having published a book and being able to speak out against something I am passionate about. When people ask me if I’m making a fortune on my book I say, “I’m not the next J.K. Rowling, but what I’m making is helpful.” Times are rough for my husband and me right now. It would be wonderful to make a living off my book, but that is a dream. Who knows it may happen? Dreams do come true.

How can you help me with my book? The best gift you can give an author is to write a review. You don’t have to be good at writing to do a review. Just put down what you like about my book. You can go on Amazon or Goodreads and post a review. Reviews help sell a book. Good reviews tell readers “This is a book you want to buy.” If you have bought my book, please consider writing a review.

Last week I did a promotion on the Kindle version of my book. It was on sale for ninety-nine cents for a week. I sold eighteen books. I consider that a success. I got an excellent review from someone who bought a Kindle copy. I hope more will write some reviews.

Many are asking me if I am going to write another book. Right now, I have not started on any books. My friend Roberta is organizing some of my blog posts for a book. I have plans to write about the years after the garage and I am writing down memories on index cards. I have written an article about adding emotions to memoir which I hope to submit to Pennwriters’ newsletter. Otherwise, I have not done a lot of writing. I put a lot into Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying and I just need time to sort out my emotions to write another book that deals with powerful and painful memories.

Speaking out against bullying and bringing awareness to the damages it causes help me stand proudly in the light of recovery.

SPEAKING EVENT

While I was writing my memoir, a fellow writer told me that I was going to become an advocate. She was right. Since my book came out, I have become very passionate about speaking out against bullying and sharing my experience with the world. My book is a testimony of the bad effects bullying has on a child, and the effects are the same for an adult. I am proof a person can rise from that bullying to help others. I believe God helped me write my book so I can help others.

Saturday, I gave a talk at McCord Memorial Library in North East, PA. Twenty-four people attended. So far that is the biggest audience I have had for my talks. Most of those who came were older people. One lady whom I had met through Facebook brought her teenage son who was facing bullying. I spoke from the heart and received a big applause at the end. Many told me how inspirational my talk was, some shared experiences with bullying, and many told me I am an excellent advocate for those who have been bullied. It was great, but I realized something. I need to find a way to speak to younger adults and children of all ages.

I’m working with a lady from my church speak to the youth group. I need to also find ways to speak at schools. I have a customer who works at a local school who hopes to have me speak there, but I haven’t heard anything from her yet. If you have suggestions on how I can bring my messages to schools and parents of children, please leave a comment.

A common question I have been getting from my readers is “How do you become an advocate?”

There are different kinds of advocates. My friend Alexander Kovarovic gave me some advice on this topic.  This is what he told me: Advocates are people who want to step up to make the world a better place for a certain reason like suicide prevention, bullying, domestic violence and more. This can be as simple as people sharing things on social media, going to events etc. Advocates are also people work on creating laws, people who run nonprofits and people who run charity events. To become an advocate, it’s good to start by volunteering for a nonprofit.

For me I became part of a nonprofit organization called National Internet Safety and Cyberbullying Taskforce (which is now called The One Life Project). First, I wrote blog posts for them and then I helped them set up events and interview volunteers. Then my book came out and I began to set up speaking and book signing events. Then being an advocate fell into place. I found myself able to stand up in front of people and speak from the heart without even planning my speech.

I think the biggest part of becoming an advocate is to find a topic you may have lived through and rise above or something you passionately want to change and speak out about it. Find a nonprofit that deals with your topic and volunteer. Learn as much as you can about your cause and how you can help others. Be willing to speak at events in front of crowds of people. If you have experience with your topic then share your story. Your story can help many.

I believe my talks and my book is helping many. I received a email from a reader who said by reading my book she learned more about bullying and the affects it has on people. I hope that many more are learning from my book too.

By speaking out against bullying I am growing stronger each day and I stand proudly in the light of recovery.

AN APOLOGY LETTER

Part of life is getting hurt by people. Sometimes they hurt us by accident, some don’t even realize they hurt us, and some hurt us because they are not nice. Getting an apology helps ease the pain, but not everyone apologizes. How do we mend our broken hearts if a person who hurt us never apologizes?

Since my book has been published, people have asked me, “Has any of your bullies read your book and apologized?”

Unfortunately, none of them has apologized and I don’t expect them to. I’m not even sure they would admit it was them in my book if they read it. My friend, Roberta, suggested I try writing an apology letter from one of my bullies to me. I thought about it and decided that would be a great idea. Below is an apology letter I have written from one of the bullies in my book, Donna. If you haven’t read my book, Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying, reading my book would give you a better idea about what Donna did to me.

Dear Aimee,

  I’m so sorry I called you a retard and other names in school. I didn’t understand what a learning disability was. I was a fool to think you were stupid. Look at you. You went to college. You wrote a book. You were never stupid or retarded. My words were cruel and wrong. I wish I could take them back. Now I’ve read your book and I can see how much they hurt you. I’m sorry I caused you so much pain.

  In school I thought you weren’t smart enough to ever work a job and I told you that you would be on welfare. Boy was I wrong. My life turned out to be a mess, but you went on to college, you got a degree, and you have worked the same job for twenty-seven years. I’m sorry I said that about you. I was so wrong. I’m the one who failed to succeed, but you are a success.

  I’m sorry I took your friends away and turned them against you. I’m sorry I stopped other kids from making a friendship with you. I didn’t feel good about myself and I turned that on you. I made your life miserable. It wasn’t nice of me to tell others lies about you so they wouldn’t be your friend. In a way I was jealous of you. My family and home life weren’t as good as yours, so in turn I made your school days miserable. I’m sorry for that.

  Maybe if I took the time to really get to know you, we could have been good friends. Maybe you could have been someone I could have confided in instead of someone I tore apart. I’m glad to see you were able to rise above the abuse I put you through and are now able to help others.

  You are a smart wonderful person and I’m sorry I never took the chance to get to know you for who you are. I can never take back all the pain I put you through or heal the wounds I caused, but at least I can do is tell you how wrong I was and how sorry I am.

   I am truly sorry for being so awful to you in school. I hope you will forgive me.

Sincerely,

Donna

I’d be surprised if I ever got an apology from Donna, but writing this letter helped ease the pain in my soul. It helped me see Donna as a person who acted out of ignorance and as an imperfect person instead of a monster. I’ll never be able to tell her I forgive her, but I forgive her for my own benefit. I don’t want to talk to her or have her in my life, but she is no longer that evil monster that tore me apart in school. Now I see her as a broken person who used her own insecurities to hurt me.

Try writing a letter of apology from the person who hurt you deeply. It will help you in the healing process and help you to forgive that person. It will also help you let go of the grip that person has on you. Once you have written the letter whisper or yell it out loud, “I forgive you.” Then let the wounds in your heart heal.

Writing the letter to Donna helped me heal. Because I wrote the letter I bathe in the light of recovery.

BULLYING AFFECTS MENTAL HEALTH

Bullying is aggressive behavior towards another person whether it be verbal or physical. It is a form of abuse. Many people can remember a time when they were bullied by another kid or an adult. When the bullying is a prolonged problem that expands over weeks, months, and years, it takes a toll on the person’s mental health, causing problems that may require medication and therapy to treat.

Bullying has effects on a person’s mental well-being that can last a long time or go away in a short time. It took therapy and medication to help me deal with the scars that bullying left on my soul. People can already be predisposed to mental illness through genetics and chemical imbalance, and the bullying brings it out.

I found lists of short-term and long-term effects of bullying on WebMD The Effects of Bullying on Mental Health: Impact and What To Do (webmd.com).

Here is a list of short-term effects of bullying:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Low self-esteem
• Self-harm
• Suicidal thoughts
• Difficulty sleeping

The long-term effects are:

• Generalized anxiety
• Panic Disorder
• Agoraphobia
• Depression
• Loneliness

Many of the short-term effects can go away in time, but sometimes they follow you into adulthood. I struggled from childhood to now as an adult with depression and anxiety. As a child I started self-harming by pulling my hair, pinching myself, and hitting myself. In my young adult years, I started cutting and burning myself.

 During my school, I struggled to sleep. I had nightmares about my bullies, my thoughts raced, and I was afraid to go to school the next day. I tried sleeping on the couch, snuggling with stuffed animals and I tried to fight my racing thoughts, but nothing helped. My sleeping problems continued into my adult years. I am currently on sleeping medication. Sometimes the medicine doesn’t even work. Instead of nightmares I struggle with obsessive worrying and racing thought.

I was also predisposed to psychological problems. Mental illness runs in my family and I have a chemical imbalance in my brain. These factors also made me more vulnerable to mental illness. The bullying was another factor that helped me slip down that dark hole. 

If you’re a parent or family member of a child or even an adult who is being bullied, look for the short and long-term effects of bullying. When you start to notice the short-term effects you should get the victim help. Also investigate your family history for mental illness. Know if it runs in your family, there is a chance you or your child may be predisposed to it. Tell your psychiatrist and therapist about your family history.

Any type of abuse takes a toll on a child’s or an adult’s well-being. We can save the victims of bullying by standing up for them, standing up against bullying, and helping the victims get help.

Speaking out against bullying and writing about it helps me stand proudly in the light of recovery.

LIVING MY DREAM

In high school I found out I had the talent to write. I daydreamed a lot in class as a way to escape the bullying I faced, and I started writing my daydreams in notebooks. The best part of writing was that I was in control of what happened to my characters and I could give them happy endings. It was in high school that I started dreaming of publishing my own book. I dreamed of doing book signings and giving speeches. I just never imagined that it would feel this good.

Since I started writing my book, I have been telling everyone about my memoir and my writing progress. Even my dentist. This past week my gums started hurting when I drank or ate cold beverages or food. I called my dentist’s office, and they had an appointment for me. I brought my book to show the dentist. She went around to the employees in the office and asked them if they would like a copy, and she was buying. Before I knew it, she wrote me a check and told me she needed seven books. On the way out the secretary told me she wanted a book too, but she was paying for her own. So, all together I sold eight books at the dentist’s office. Bad news: I have gum disease. Good news: I made money at my appointment.

I have learned to take a few books with me wherever I go. I sold a book to my doctor and several books at my breast cancer support group Christmas party. I never know who will want to buy a copy of my book. I keep a bag with four books in my SUV and when I go to parties, out with friends, or to appointments I bring a couple with me.

Saturday the fourteenth I did a book signing at a small bookstore called Werner Books. A reporter from a local news station came and interviewed me. The interview was aired Saturday at 6 P.M. and 11 P.M. I watched it at both times. I was so excited to be on TV. Then on Monday my customers told me the interview of me was aired again. Customers keep coming in my line, telling me they saw me on TV, congratulating me, and asking where they can buy my book. Some customers are waiting in my line to get their books signed. I feel like a celebrity. Thursday Werner books contacted me and said they sold out of my books, and they had a waiting list for more. I took ten books to them. click the link below to watch me on the news.

https://www.yourerie.com/news/local-news/local-author-teaches-children-about-overcoming-bullying-with-new-book/

I can’t explain how wonderful I feel. I feel like I am floating on a cloud. My dream came true, and it feels better than I could have ever imagined. One customer insists I should be on Good Morning America. That is a long shot, but who knows. God has plans for me and my book. I just know his plans are big. He gave me the talent to write and the ability to share my story with the world. I’m letting him guide me in my path to stand up against bullying with my book and speaking.

Monday the sixteenth I spoke to Lawrence Park (the area where I live) Historical Society. I only sold one book, but I sold several, “Stop Bullying” leather bracelets I had woodburned. It was a small group of around ten, but I just spoke from the heart. Many who were there already had my book and just wanted to hear me speak. The Historical Society paid me to speak for them. It was my first paying speaking engagement.

I believe I survived bullying and the damage it caused so that I could write my memoir and talk about bullying to help others. I want to make as many people as possible aware of the affects bullying has on a person. I urge people who come to my talks to buy my bracelets and to wear them to show the world we are standing up against bullying.

My next speaking and book signing event is February 25 at McCord Library, NorthEast, PA at 10:00 A.M. I have a customer who works at a local school looking into having me speak at the school.

We don’t struggle through hard times for nothing. Our struggles and what we learned from them can help others. I’ll never be able to stop all bullying, but if I can help a few people and bring more awareness to it, I have accomplished a lot.

These wonderful experiences of selling my book and speaking to groups of people have me dancing with joy in the light.

Take the pledge today to stand up with me against bullying by buying one of my leather bracelets for $5.00 and wearing it with pride. Leave a comment if you would like a bracelet or email me at aimeeeddy3@gmail.com.

A DREAM BECOMES A REALITY

Dreams come true!! In high school when I discovered I had the ability to write, I dreamed of having a book published. I studied writing, I went to writing conferences, and I read books on writing. I studied writing like it was a requirement to graduate from school. I attempted to write a book, but it didn’t work out. I wrote short stories until about five years ago when I started writing my first book. I struggled with reliving bad memories, I struggled with my confidence in my ability to write a book, and I struggled with my learning disability to edit my own writing, but I wrote my book.

I learned a lot in my journey of writing my memoir, Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying. I grew as an author and as a person. With each new chapter my writing improved and with each memory I relived a wound in my soul healed. This has been a long process, because to write about the bullying I had to relive it. While reliving it, I had to take breaks from my writing. The tears fell, the pain burned, and a piece of my heart ripped open. With each word I put on paper I learned how to fill the pages with not only emotions but with happiness.

In high school I daydreamed about having my first book published, giving speeches, and signing books. I dreamed of signing books for the teachers and classmates who bullied me. I imagined writing, “You said I couldn’t read yet I wrote a book. I forgive you.” Part of that dream is coming true.

My dream is becoming a reality. Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying was published on Kindle on Saturday night and on Sunday the print version became available. You can get your Kindle version for $4.99 and print version for #15.99 at https:amzn.to/3vatPTU.

I’m flying high. It is so neat to see my very own book on Kindle. It’s a wonderful feeling to have all my hard work and my dream becoming a reality. The last few weeks I have been driving my friends and my husband nuts. I don’t do good with stress. A lot of problems delayed getting the formatted manuscript finished. I had planned for it to be done sooner. I tormented myself with obsessive worrying and anxiety. I even angered the person kind enough to format my manuscript and make my cover.

I thought I had a well-edited manuscript when I sent it for formatting. I had two editors and several beta readers. I edited it several times and I read over it multiple times and yet I missed things. Because of my learning disability I have a hard time editing and finding mistakes. The lady editing it, Susan, found some errors and said I should have it proofread. A proofreader had problems with her computer and couldn’t continue. Susan proofread from chapter 16 on. I had to find someone to proof chapter 1 to 15. I emailed all my writer friends until I found someone. This put a big delay in getting my book ready for publication. I became a wreck.

I learned some important things through this process: I learned not to plan a book launch party until I have the manuscript formatted. I learned to have extra beta readers and proofreaders read over my book before I send it for formatting. I learned to be patient with the people who are helping me out, and I learned that I need new coping techniques for dealing with stress.

Through the trials and errors and years of writing, growing, and learning, my dream has become a reality. Just seeing my book on Kindle made my heart flutter. Soon I will be signing books and maybe I’ll be signing books purchased by my former bullies. I’m so happy and excited that I feel like dancing and shouting in joy.

Making my dream come true has me dancing in the light of recovery.

My book is a memoir about how I was bullied at school and found the strength and acceptance I needed at the family garage.

Be sure to get your Kindle or print version now https:amzn.to/3vatPTU