Even when we make the best plans for our life, things can go wrong. The best plans can be ruined in a second by an unexpected illness, a tragedy, or an injury. Life never works out exactly how we want it to. Life’s unexpected roadblocks can be hard to handle when you are working towards recovery or are in recovery from mental illness. How you handle these roadblocks is what keeps you on the right track towards or keeping in, recovery.
Last week I had planned for a vacation from work. Lou still had to work, but we planned one night out of town at a hotel and a day at a safari and shopping. The rest of my vacation I planned to put up our small pool, do laundry, and get the old 70’s -80’s entertainment center out of our living room and set up a TV stand. I even planned to buckle down and work on my next book. I was going to start my vacation with a Father’s Day picnic with my dad and family. I was looking forward to a week away from work, getting things done, and having some fun, but life threw a roadblock in my way and turned my vacation upside down.
The Thursday before my vacation I felt rundown. I thought maybe it was just an off day or a one-day thing, but when I woke up on Friday, I felt even more fatigued, my throat hurt, and I was coughing. My husband told me to call off work, but I was stubborn and went in. Halfway through my shift I felt so sick I could barely stand. I went home early and had to call off on Saturday. I lay in bed crying. Since I was sick, I couldn’t be anywhere near my dad since he’s going through cancer. My oldest sister was also sick, and my younger siblings live out of town. There would be none of us kids to spend Father’s Day with my dad. I felt awful about it. This was going to be the first Father’s Day in a long time I wasn’t going to spend with him.
I called and told my dad I was on vacation and if I were better by the end of the week, we could celebrate. I set my hopes on that. I told my husband we would have to lose our money for our night away, but he told me, “We’ll see how you are by Tuesday.” I started my vacation too sick to move, coughing so hard my stomach hurt, and unable to eat much food. Father’s Day I lay on the couch, sucking cough drops, and watching movies in between drifting off to sleep. My automatic thoughts were negative. My vacation was going to be an absolute disaster. We were going to lose our money on our hotel room and be stuck at home. Everything I had planned would never get done, and I was going to spend the whole week miserable.
Lou didn’t give up on our night away. He took me to the doctor on Monday. The doctor prescribed me cough medicine and a steroid because my asthma flared up by my illness. She diagnosed me with a viral infection and prescribed me lots of rest. I was feeling better by Monday, with a little more energy, but the cough was horrible. I had to curl up in a ball and clench my stomach each time I coughed.
Lou said, “How about I drive to the hotel, we get some food to eat, and spend the night resting in air conditioning. I’ll get us some snacks foods and I’ll take care of you. Since we’re going through a heat wave the air conditioning will help your breathing.”
I wasn’t too sure about this idea. Was I well enough for the ride? Would it be fair for Lou to do all the driving? What if I just got sicker? Would I even enjoy it? I agreed to our overnight trip but wasn’t too sure about it. I feared it would be a disaster.
We went on our trip. The cough medicine helped ease my coughing, I slept while Lou drove, and when we got there, I had more energy. We were able to have dinner out and spend the night relaxing in our room, eating junk food. Lou watched sports on the TV, and I watched movies on a portable DVD player. It turned out to be a very relaxing night away and I enjoyed it. The hotel had a very good free breakfast, and we went to Walmart to pick up a few things before heading home the next day. I was glad Lou wouldn’t let me cancel it.
Thursday morning Lou called me from work to tell me he wasn’t feeling good and was coming home. He was lightheaded so I took him to the ER. We sat in the ER waiting room for over five hours without them calling us back to a room. When I asked the woman at the check in desk how much longer until they call my husband back, they couldn’t find him in the computer. She went over and took his wrist band, told me to sit down and she would be right back. We sat and sat and she never came back. We got mad and left. That night while he slept, I had extra energy, so I went outside and put our pool up. Then I went inside and lay down. The next day I took Lou to Urgent Care to find out he had bronchitis.
I kept thinking this is the vacation from hell. Everything was going wrong. First, I was sick, then a horrible day at the ER, and next Lou was sick. Then I started to look at the positive side to my awful vacation: we still got to spend the night away, I got to sleep in and watch movies all day, I still was able to put the pool up, and I did sit in it for a couple days. I didn’t have to call off from work and I got paid to be sick.
Why am I telling you about my bad vacation? Because no matter how bad things, get there is a good side to everything. It’s so hard to see it when we are going though the difficult times, but the good is there. Instead of dwelling on the bad try to find the positive in what you are going through. Good comes from the bad.
As I write this, I’m not a hundred percent better, but I’m much better than I was. I still have a milder cough, my voice is hoarse, and I’m weak, but I’m ready to go back to work. Looking at the positive side of difficult situations keeps me soaking in the light of recovery.
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